Marie Skłodowska-Curie eloquently expressed the common human tendency to fear the unknown and harbor dislikes for things they are unfamiliar with. Such resistance to understanding is often born from preconceptions and prejudices that restrict us. The root of this issue lies within ourselves, and the solution requires an open mind and heart to alternative perspectives. To achieve this, we must relinquish our prejudices and be open to the possibility that we may be wrong. Fostering a broader outlook entails challenging our existing beliefs with a curious and open-minded approach.

I’ve written about a related topic in one of my previous blogs, titled “Do you feel inspired? Work!” In that piece, I raised the question of “who makes the rules?” and encouraged readers to adopt the mindset that there are no set rules, empowering them to create their own rules to guide their lives. Similarly, we can apply this principle to our beliefs by giving ourselves a clean slate. To do so, we should engage in questioning with the same openness and curiosity as a child.

During a recent client meeting, a statement caught my attention: “you know how it is with employees.” Intrigued, I asked, “What do you mean?” The response I received was that “no one wants to work, and when they do show up, they expect high wages while doing very little.” This prompted me to ponder the reasons behind this perception. I continued my inquiry, “Why do you think this is happening?” The client’s response was laden with bitterness, suggesting that the younger generation had been spoiled with benefits, giving them little incentive to work.

I shared my personal experience, which contrasts with the client’s perspective. I explained that I have a fantastic team that enjoys working together, fostering a sense of camaraderie. I mentioned that none of my team members are older than 30, with myself being the oldest member. This revelation seemed to surprise the client, who regarded me with a quizzical expression and tightly pressed lips.

I had not anticipated the strong emotions that would follow, and I posed another question: “Do you think that if you chose a team with similar goals and values and clearly communicated your expectations, the situation would be different?”

What followed could only be described as an unintentional unleashing of a storm. The client felt attacked, despite my questions being driven by curiosity and a desire to understand his perspective. Perhaps unconsciously, he perceived my inquiries as an “attack,” and I suddenly found myself subjected to the typical process of profiling. I was labeled as young and naive, someone who lacked a comprehensive understanding of the world and whose comments would be of little help due to the differences in our industries. The client even suggested that we could revisit this conversation in a decade, implying that my insights would change. He recommended that I ask my husband about workplace matters.

In this situation, it’s essential to highlight that my questions were intended to elicit the client’s views. However, the client chose to profile me based on my age and gender. He had an opportunity to consider the possibility that his beliefs were incorrect and that his actions were influenced by misconceptions. Instead, he opted to adhere to his established beliefs, asserting that I was wrong to question him. In doing so, my questions seemed to challenge his ego and shake his conviction that “everyone thinks the same way.” In such moments, it’s worth contemplating alternatives, such as whether there might be issues with the recruitment process, engaging in open discussions to challenge existing beliefs, and being receptive to new perspectives. Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to embrace such an approach.

Let’s envision a child sitting in front of me instead of an adult client. Would the child have reacted with passive-aggression to my question? No, a child would likely contemplate the question and provide an honest response. I want to clarify that I, like everyone else, have my own set of beliefs and prejudices. Acting against them can be challenging. However, it is entirely possible to engage in honest listening, reflect on the situation, and respond in a way that fosters meaningful dialogue rather than resorting to passive-aggressive behavior.