Archiwa #netflix - Untold

Come back home

Aleksandra Strugalska — Mon, 01 Aug 2022 11:14:00 +0000

Recently, I watched the Netflix film “Purple Hearts,” recommended by a friend. I went in completely “blind” — with no idea what it was about, no expectations, and no knowledge of the cast. It turned out to be the story of a waitress with diabetes who’s chasing her dream of becoming a singer but faces serious financial struggles because of her illness, and a soldier carrying a heavy load from his past. I assumed it would be a predictable tearjerker, but it proved to be an unconventional, mature melodrama. I appreciated the screenplay for letting both main characters make decisions as independent individuals — yes, motivated by love and care for one another, but still conscious choices for which they later bore the consequences. For such young people, they showed striking maturity; I didn’t find any corny dialogue or overblown scenes. Everything felt believable, and the whole thing was elevated by an excellent soundtrack — especially the lyrics — and a well-crafted story. Neither of the two leads slips into the role of a victim or the “weaker party”; both fight for what matters to them and end up gaining more than they expected. There’s no prince on a white horse rescuing a frail princess, and no warrior queen sacrificing herself for her family. It’s a beautiful story about what true marriage and love are, about overcoming your own fears and beliefs, and about making decisions that change your life. I’ll try not to spoil anything — you can safely read on, and I highly recommend watching it.

Long before this film, I had been reflecting on the institution of marriage — on whether sincere, true love is possible, and whether it’s really given to us to live our whole lives in harmony with one person. Today it’s easy to get married and — in a similarly simple way — to end a marriage. Well, perhaps a bit harder if there’s a shared mortgage. But we live in times when both sexes can function independently, consciously making the best decisions for themselves. I believe that real marriage has the bittersweet flavor of burnt shared dinners, great breakfasts, hot baths, good and not-so-good sex, differences of opinion, arguments — and love, all at once.

Note sure should we fly or fight this
We’re terrified
Pretending that we don’t care

The beginning of a relationship is easy; it gets harder when the first obstacles appear, when the other person’s behavior surprises us, and our idealized picture of them collapses. That’s when we ask: is this the moment to run, or to fight for the relationship? Though we don’t like to admit it, entering an intimate, deep relationship can be frightening — you have to drop your guard and stop pretending you don’t care. For me, the hardest part was showing that I do care — because if I care, I can be hurt and abandoned. The result is a broken heart, carrying the pain until the next love comes along (even if, in the moment, it feels like we’ll suffer until the end of our lives — or the end of the world).

Letting down the walls we maintain so carefully allows us to face our greatest fear. I had been abandoned and rejected so many times that I built a solid wall that — I believed — would protect me from being hurt again. What terrified me most was rejection. I treated it as failure: once again I’d been deceived, once again I’d let myself be fooled. I blamed only myself — for trusting the wrong person. That’s what I had to face, taking my wall apart brick by brick. The protagonists, too, carry their own fears, and their relationship becomes real in the moments when they open up — when they are most vulnerable, and therefore most authentic. We don’t know how such a story ends. We may gain the love we deserve, and we may also get hurt. Even so, the risk is worth taking — because what’s at stake is a full life, one that truly makes us happy.

I’m terrified
Letting my fears show
Till I can face’em
Letting my tears go
Till I can taste’em
Hell, what do I know
Where you and I’ll go

The marriage vow assumes a union of two people until death do them part. So why do we so often choose convenience today and file for divorce when something doesn’t suit us? The strength of marriage lies in the finality of the vow — we have to find a way to work things out. We can live apart, we can go half a year without talking, we can even toss each other’s things off the balcony, but ultimately the person you may hate in a given moment is still your partner, your anchor, your home — for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.

I don’t believe you can build a real relationship by tiptoeing around and frantically avoiding some line that supposedly leads straight to divorce. Truth can be messy and painful, but it also liberates and binds. That’s how I understand true love: we are together despite everything, because as long as we have each other, the rest can be figured out. That’s why the song the main character sings in the film felt so moving and affirming to me.

But dammit I hope
You come back home

Opening up in order to build closeness is exactly like stepping out of your comfort zone. We don’t usually enter relationships because being alone is uncomfortable — most of the time we’re fine and manage well on our own. Then someone appears who nudges us beyond the safe, familiar zone — and we change, whether we want to or not. Synergy with another person, new relationships, and new situations trigger inner transformations, often the kind we never anticipated. We think we know ourselves, but we truly get to know both others and ourselves only in unexpected circumstances.

I was fine before
You walked right through that door
And now I’m something more
Than I ever imagined

True love applies to various human relationships — we can feel it for friends, children, siblings, or partners. It rests on the same principles: truth and shared experiences, whether easy or hard.
Notice how relationships actually form: first we meet, then we spend time together, we go through adventures, we see each other in unpredictable situations. We begin to notice not only what someone wants to show us, but also the real picture of that person — not always “pretty.”
I believe that “beauty” can be overrated and boring. Each of us has two faces. Alongside our light, we also carry a shadow — a “monster” that reveals itself only when you look closely; and sometimes the reverse happens: from behind the mask of the “monster,” beauty peeks through — if we look with enough attention. That’s why the duality of our human nature is so compelling — nothing is exactly what it seems.

I knew exactly who you were
But you were something more
Than I ever imagined
In your arms I’m safe and sound
You turned my world right upside down
But all the hell we’ve been through
Had a purpose

If you think you’re bored with your life, ask yourself whether you’re looking closely enough at the world around you. I assure you: no one has a boring life — sometimes we simply fail to see the adventure we’re already part of. Being a blind, passive marionette is the real tragedy: that’s when we believe in our own powerlessness and hand over our agency. We remain in a relationship because it “happened to us,” not because we chose it.
In that state, we don’t grow. We change only when we open ourselves to the new and the unknown, when we take risks. Change is rarely calm — it usually begins with chaos. It’s a difficult stage, but if we get through it, we can build harmony.
We won’t learn what true love is until we feel it — and risk our own comfort for it, until we cross our own boundaries. The most beautiful part is that in this love we are strong together, and we know we can handle any challenge as a team. We don’t have to understand each other completely — it’s enough that we see one another as we are and accept the whole package: our strengths, our flaws, and everything that’s still undefined in a given moment.

Together we are chaos and it’s perfect
I didn’t I didn’t know
What love could, what love could be
Until you, until you
Loved my everything
The good, the bad
The in-between
I didn’t know

I had no intention of watching “Purple Hearts,” because my friend usually recommends stories about innocent, romantic love and about “problems” that — in my view — aren’t really problems. Probably because she deeply believes in pure love; she’s almost childishly naive and simply good — as if the world hadn’t had a chance to spoil her, or as if she lived in a completely different reality than I do. That’s probably why we’re friends — she is my anchor, and I am her wings.
Wings don’t recognize limits; they reach high because they believe anything is possible. The anchor stabilizes and reminds us that not everything is worth reaching for; that the sun we’re flying toward might eventually burn us to ash instead of warming us in its glow. Wings see the goal and fly toward it; the anchor sees people and attaches to them.
One without the other doesn’t work well. If there’s only the anchor, there’s stagnation instead of stability, unused potential instead of growth, self-sacrifice instead of assertive help — and a kind of blindness born of naivety toward the people around us. If there are only the wings, isolation appears instead of healthy solitude; there’s achievement at any cost and a lack of relationships — and when things start to feel too close, the wings take off again “just in case,” to avoid being tied down. That’s a bitter victory, not a sweet, shared one.
Wings can do anything, but without the anchor they won’t find fulfillment; everything they achieve may ultimately prove worthless. The wings will be irritated by the anchor — and grateful to it at the same time. The anchor will love the wings — and probably never fully understand them. Together, they’ll fly high enough to satisfy the wings and low enough to keep from burning up. I think that’s what love looks like.

Always thought those feelings
They were stories not made for me
It’s terrifying, but I’m pretty certain
It’s worth it
I didn’t I didn’t know
What love could, what love coulde be
Until you, until you
Loved my everything

If you don’t believe in love and think such relationships exist only in fairy tales, ask yourself whether you haven’t been playing it too safe — never letting yourself be truly known, never revealing more, never giving too much. Maybe it’s worth taking that risk for the first time in your life — or even again. Try to build a home you can always return to: your safe harbor. A home you can’t lose or demolish — a home that endures.
***This text refers to relationships based on mutual respect. It’s different with relationships where, for example, violence is present. It’s hard for me to speak to that — I haven’t been in such a situation and I hope I never will. If you’re in a toxic relationship, talk to professionals and, above all, take care of your own safety, health, and life. If your relationship threatens those, it’s time to pack a suitcase. And what then? I don’t know; professionals will know — and so will your heart and your reason. Remember: we take care of ourselves first, and only then of others — whether it’s a marriage, a friendship, a work relationship, or even the one with your own child.

Organize your life.

The first publication in the Untold product series, created to share methodology for organizing everyday life, cultivating systematic discipline, and developing proper habits. Drawing from the author's experience, knowledge, beliefs, and commonly available coaching tools, she aims to inspire you to take action and present you with a straightforward approach to achieving fulfillment and building self-esteem. Written in a simple way, it contains examples from everyday life, practical tips, exercises, and beautiful graphics. Available in e-book and audiobook.

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It has always been like that

Aleksandra Strugalska — Mon, 04 Jul 2022 10:05:00 +0000

Lately, I started watching an incredibly compelling Korean series on Netflix called ‘Tomorrow.’ I’m currently on episode 10 out of 16, and I’m not sure how it will conclude or if there will be another season. Initially, I began watching it to get a glimpse of the remarkably handsome Lee Soo Hyuk. However, I ended up taking blog notes during 8 out of the 10 episodes, and in 7 out of the 10, I found myself deeply moved to the point of tears. The entire series may not necessarily be a masterpiece, but the script and acting certainly are.
The plot revolves around the sensitive subject of suicide and explores the reasons why people take their own lives. In the world crafted by the screenwriter, there is a division of Reapers in the afterlife, tasked with handling special missions. Among these units is the CR crisis department, responsible for dissuading people from ending their own lives.
Each episode presents a different story, but perhaps the most surprising and emotionally impactful one for me was Episode 9, in which the team had to save a suicidal dog. This might sound unusual and not particularly serious, and indeed, my initial reaction was, ‘What am I watching?’ and ‘Who thought this was a good idea?’ Yet, that’s the nature of series; there are better and worse episodes, and you simply continue watching. So, I continued watching.
The ZR team was equally perplexed when assigned the dog as their next case. Kong was an animal who seemed to desire death, and it was their mission to change that. Initially, they suspected it was a system error, but ultimately, orders were orders, and the task had to be completed. It was thought that someone had abandoned Kong, but after consulting a veterinary clinic, it was revealed that the dog was sick and had limited time left to live. The main character couldn’t fathom how someone could abandon a sick dog and wished the owner eternal torment in hell after their life ended.
Later, it was discovered that Kong had run away from home of his own accord because he believed that the family he loved was suffering because of him. He didn’t want to be a burden or a source of sadness and decided that it would be better to die alone. It became evident that, in times of mourning and illness, humans and animals alike can behave irrationally and extremefully. After all, emotions know no bounds.

With them it is the same as with people.
He certainly had a reason to try to kill himself. We need to find out what and save him. Pets are no exception.

The above words were spoken by the HR manager, and it’s challenging to disagree with them. Frequently, as humans, we tend to place ourselves in a superior position in relation to the beings around us. Only with sufficient mindfulness and sensitivity can we uncover the truth that everyone is unique but ‘neither better nor worse’ when compared to others. In the end, we are remarkably similar.
When it comes to animals, there’s often a prevailing belief that they are unintelligent, lack emotions, and are driven solely by instinct. But is this really the case? Who gave us the right to underestimate others? How can we claim to understand what animals feel when we often struggle to accurately discern the emotions of the people closest to us, and at times, even our own feelings?
This tendency stems from our arrogance, pride, and ego, cultivated within ourselves. Why do we seek proof that animals can feel emotions, while we lack definitive proof that you feel the same as I do? Is our pride preventing us from admitting that we don’t know? Are we afraid of losing our perceived higher rank and status to animals? It’s as if we’re fearful of considering a sick person as an equal being, as it might make us feel inferior. In reality, it just makes us different.

Kong is more than just a dog to me. It is my family.

These words were spoken by a seasoned dog owner. For many of us, animals are often seen as mere additions to our lives, making our solitary days at home more enjoyable or serving as a source of a tasty meal. They are frequently treated as ‘somethings’ rather than ‘someones.’ Fortunately, not everyone shares this viewpoint.
The author of the book ‘The Spiritual Life of Animals,’ a respected German biologist and botanist, painstakingly demonstrates on over 300 pages that animals possess awareness, emotions, and a spiritual essence.

Animals experience pain, sadness, and grief; they go through a mourning process. They feel pleasure when basking in the sun and discomfort when getting wet. Some engage in sexual activities not solely for procreation but also for the pleasure of orgasm. Some form lifelong partnerships, while others have multiple mates. They experience love for their offspring and other family members. They can recognize family bonds, have friends and acquaintances within and across species. They can express gratitude, a feeling that requires the ability to acknowledge that someone or something has brought joy to their lives. Cicero himself recognized that dogs are capable of such emotions.
Animals are not limited to basic instincts; they can also engage in more complex behaviors such as theft, deception, and manipulation. The author shares anecdotes, such as roosters deceiving chickens by pretending to enjoy delicious food while making loud noises. Magpies pretend to defend territory in the presence of their partners but flirt when alone. Foxes convincingly feign death while hunting for crows, even extending their tongues.
They are aware of socially accepted norms within their environment or herd, which can lead to feelings of embarrassment and confusion. Animals possess a sense of justice, which plays a role in maintaining harmony within the herd.
There are both timid and courageous animals, with courage defined as the ability to take action despite identified dangers.
Some animals can count, recognize their own reflections in mirrors, and even have distinct names within their herds. They display impatience, as observed in an experiment involving rats lining up, similar to human behavior in supermarkets.
Empathy and compassion are also found in animals. They provide comfort to other suffering animals, and the longer they know each other, the more effective this empathy becomes. This extends across species and mirrors human neural processes.
Animals exhibit free will and engage in altruistic behavior. They share food, rescue other animals, pass down knowledge across generations, and preserve traditions. They learn from experience, much like humans.
They have an understanding of nature and can predict weather changes, akin to human ancestors who lived close to nature.
As they age, animals may suffer from dementia, eat less, become irritable, and are aware of their age limitations and the passage of time, akin to humans.
These are just a few examples of the myriad ways animals exhibit complex behaviors and emotions.

What struck me the most as I read this book was the author’s emphasis on the significance of all the organisms that surround us within the ecosystem, without grading their importance. Often, we find ourselves more sympathetic towards domestic animals and less so towards farm animals. Creatures like insects are frequently considered disgusting and expendable. However, even the least appealing creatures have feelings, they are alive, and they play a vital role in the grand tapestry of life.
For instance, even ticks, typically seen as pests, experience hunger, desire, and the need to find a partner. Have you ever contemplated them in such terms? Of course, I’m not suggesting we start breeding ticks and taking them for walks. Instead, I aim to highlight that they too are living beings, each with their unique significance and purpose within the intricate web of life. They deserve respect, just like all the other organisms around us.

“I believe that every creature, however small or hideous, possesses a soul. Those who claim otherwise do so in order to justify their brutality against them.”

“Light Singer” Audrey Grey

These words were shared by the protagonist of the book I recently read. Although it wasn’t an exceptional book, I found myself captivated by it. It falls into the category of what some might call a ‘chick flick,’ a genre I’ve read in abundance. I fondly recall my childhood when I would cry over the loss of animals. My father used to console me by saying not to shed tears because, according to him, animals had no souls anyway. He even forbade me from saying that an animal had ‘died’ because, as he put it, people die, and animals do not (there is a different word for it in polish without equivalent word in english). But is it really so? Or, as the quote suggests, are we trying to rationalize our lack of compassion or our cruelty towards beings we perceive as ‘soulless’?

We may not always have scientific proof for everything. In situations where we cannot definitively determine something, is it not worth extending the benefit of the doubt to the theory that animals possess feelings and have souls? They are living creatures that play vital roles in the ecosystem and deserve our respect. Instead of mistreating them just because we haven’t scientifically proven their equality as divine beings, should we not consider the possibility?
As humans, we have a tendency to judge and form opinions. This tendency often leads us to categorize beings into ‘better’ or ‘worse,’ ‘smarter’ or ‘stupider,’ ‘stronger’ or ‘weaker,’ ‘prettier’ or ‘uglier.’ Every day, we decide who deserves our time and help based on our personal preferences and biases. The most common argument I hear is that animals are ‘stupid.’ However, when we think about it, emotions do not require intelligence. We do not need to overanalyze to understand that we are sad, in pain, or experiencing joy.
With this perspective in mind and considering the atrocities that segregation has led humanity to commit, let’s reflect on how we treat all the creatures that share our world daily.
When we recognize that animals are divine beings, different from us but equally important, it can become uncomfortable, even immoral, to use them as we have been. Perhaps it is time to contemplate whether, for the sake of a new perspective and heightened awareness, we should sacrifice some of our comfort and reduce the scale of our objective use of animals, treating them as they deserve.
I believe that using and labeling them as ‘stupid’ or ‘unaware’ creatures primarily serves political and economic interests. Scientists have ample knowledge to confirm the intelligence of creatures like pigs, yet we do not see public messages promoting this awareness. Instead, we are bombarded with media advertisements touting the tastiness and health benefits of sausages that our children will grow big and healthy with. If people were fully aware of the sentient and conscious animals on their plates, would they still consume meat with such enthusiasm? Many might lose their appetite. However, we often prefer not to know, feel, or see it and convince ourselves that this is how it has always been – that animals are here to serve us. A similar phenomenon exists within our own species. Though we live in a civilized world, we must remember that practices like slavery and child trafficking still persist on a large scale across the globe.
Perhaps it is time to look upon all existence with understanding, respect, and love.

Organize your life.

The first publication in the Untold product series, created to share methodology for organizing everyday life, cultivating systematic discipline, and developing proper habits. Drawing from the author's experience, knowledge, beliefs, and commonly available coaching tools, she aims to inspire you to take action and present you with a straightforward approach to achieving fulfillment and building self-esteem. Written in a simple way, it contains examples from everyday life, practical tips, exercises, and beautiful graphics. Available in e-book and audiobook.

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Get it together!

Aleksandra Strugalska — Mon, 04 Jul 2022 09:57:00 +0000

Our parents taught us to treat others the way we ourselves would like to be treated, often repeating the saying, “Don’t do unto others what you wouldn’t want done to you.” But when I was a teenager and finally gave this saying some real thought, I realized it wasn’t entirely true.
To my surprise, what feels kind to me may not feel kind to you. What you see as success, I might perceive as failure. What motivates me could overwhelm you. All of this stems from our individuality — from how profoundly unique we are as human beings.
Thomas Erikson captures this perfectly in his book “Surrounded by Idiots.” The book is painfully simple—at times I even wondered if the author was treating me like one of those “idiots,” explaining the most basic things in painstaking detail. Yet its core message is deeply insightful: Treat others not as you wish to be treated, but as they wish to be treated.
The key lies in understanding the other person. Because, as it turns out, we aren’t surrounded by idiots at all—just by people with vastly different personalities who struggle to communicate effectively with one another.
This reminds me of a scene from the Korean drama “Tomorrow” (episode 9). A man who had lost his dog searched tirelessly, heartbroken and desperate to find him. He was a graphic designer by profession, and one day, while working on a logo for a veterinary clinic, he suddenly broke down and began to cry at his desk. His coworkers, startled, asked him what was wrong. He explained that it was about his missing dog—the one he’d had since childhood.

"- A dog? It's only about a dog? [...] I thought it was something serious. Come on, don't cry. [...] A dog is a dog, how else can you call it? [..] It’s not a big deal”

- How long will you act like this? You've done too much. You can stop now.

- How could I stop? (asks the owner of the dog)

- Will you ruin your life because of a dog? And if he dies, will you too? "

I often come across videos or comments online saying things like: “Don’t worry, others have it worse,” “Pull yourself together, don’t be weak,” or “People are starving, and you’re upset about a job you don’t like?”
To me, this is a deeply toxic and emotionally violent mindset — to deny someone the right to feel what they truly feel. Suppressing emotions, dismissing them as unimportant or “disproportionate,” simply because someone else’s suffering seems greater, is one of the cruellest ways to invalidate a human being.
The coworkers mocked the man who was devastated by the loss of his dog, belittling his grief. But can grief really be compared? Can the pain of losing a dog, a child, a mother, or a friend be measured or ranked? If someone’s heart is breaking, isn’t that pain already valid enough — without the need for comparison or judgment? Do we truly have the right to quantify another person’s sorrow?

"I never had a pet so I didn't understand."

At the end of the episode, the coworkers come to their senses and apologize. They realize that it was never about the dog — it was about understanding another human being, their emotions, their pain, their grief.
We so often diminish the experiences of others — animals, children, the elderly. We think, “What could they possibly know? They’re just kids.” But is their sadness truly any different from ours? Can emotions be categorized — as more valid or less valid, more serious or less serious?
In my view, they cannot. Sadness is sadness. And none of us has the right to tell someone that they should feel less — that their pain isn’t “important enough.” Instead of judging, we should listen and try to understand. We might never fully grasp someone else’s way of thinking, but that doesn’t excuse us from showing them respect — as living, feeling beings, even if they are different from us.
Such behaviors are often deeply rooted — in our culture, our beliefs, and our learned ways of coping. We’ve been taught to focus on the misfortunes of others rather than to face and heal our own. It’s almost ironic, but we can see it even in the news: we hear that inflation in Poland is rising and the economy is weakening, but then comes the reassuring note — “in Germany, it’s even worse.” And suddenly, we feel a bit better. But why? It doesn’t change our situation at all. We comfort ourselves with others’ hardships because our mind prefers distraction — it’s easier to think about someone else’s problems than to confront our own pain head-on.

"- Compared to you - to your borders and magic being weakend - I supposed my self-pity is absurd.

- If it grievs you, than I don't think it's absurde at all."

I love quoting my favorite book, A Court of Thorns and Roses. This time, Tamlin — one of the main characters — perfectly expresses what empathy truly means. When he tells Feyre that if something grieves her, then it cannot be absurd, he acknowledges that her pain is real and valid — not smaller, not foolish, not insignificant when compared to his own.
That’s empathy and respect in their purest form. Because how is my sorrow lesser than yours? How are my struggles easier than yours? How is my happiness greater than yours?
Comparing ourselves to others only distorts our sense of self-worth and makes us dependent on external validation. We will never be the best — there will always be someone better. And even if we do reach the top, others may not let us feel it.
So instead of building our confidence and security on other people’s opinions, we should turn inward — to our own emotions, joys, and sorrows.
You have every right to feel all of it. In fact, I believe it’s your responsibility — because every emotion, every victory and defeat, shapes who you are. Don’t run away from your feelings — they are what make you human. Feeling deeply doesn’t make you weak. Quite the opposite: it proves your courage. It means you are brave enough to feel everything, even the things that hurt.

“Be glad of your human heart, Feyra. Pity those who don't feel anything at all”

The protagonist of A Court of Thorns and Roses often worries that she is more sensitive and compassionate than the others — the powerful, confident figures who seem invincible and untouched by emotion.
Standing among them, Feyre feels small and weak.
But then one of the High Lords speaks these unforgettable words to her — words that carry profound truth.
To me, the ability to see others, to show compassion toward the weakest, and to allow oneself to feel is what defines true strength.
Far greater strength than that of those who have frozen their emotions — for they are the ones trapped in the icy cage they built from fear and selfishness.
Rhysand himself points this out to the other High Lords: true power does not lie in indifference, but in the courage to feel.

"Do not condescend to her [...] Do not insult Feyra for speaking with her heart, with compassion for those who cannot defend themselves, when you speak from only selfishness and cowardice."

Sensitivity does not make us weak.
Love does not mean offering our hearts on a silver platter to be devoured by enemies.
Compassion does not make us small.
An open heart — one that feels deeply yet refuses to bow before challenges — makes us fearless, unstoppable, and profoundly loved by others.
I’ve never met a person who could call themselves a failure while being surrounded by love — and while holding a heart full of it, both for themselves and for others.
But compassion, whether for ourselves or for others, does not mean remaining in that state forever, shifting responsibility, or waiting to be saved.
It means recognizing the emotion, allowing ourselves to feel it, and then learning from it — taking action despite the pain, the fear, and the uncertainty.
Because every joy and every sorrow eventually passes.
Nothing lasts forever.
Our task is to live through it fully and act the best we can in each moment.

Organize your life.

The first publication in the Untold product series, created to share methodology for organizing everyday life, cultivating systematic discipline, and developing proper habits. Drawing from the author's experience, knowledge, beliefs, and commonly available coaching tools, she aims to inspire you to take action and present you with a straightforward approach to achieving fulfillment and building self-esteem. Written in a simple way, it contains examples from everyday life, practical tips, exercises, and beautiful graphics. Available in e-book and audiobook.

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Reasons to Wake Up

Aleksandra Strugalska — Sun, 14 Nov 2021 14:59:00 +0000

magine the goal you truly want to achieve in life — something you’ve dreamed of since childhood. Visualize it clearly in your mind. What is it? Becoming a famous singer? A scientist? A doctor? A writer? Owning a successful company? Or perhaps creating a revolutionary product? Each of us dreams of something, but only a few truly turn those dreams into reality.
Many of us want to achieve great things, but what are we actually doing to get there — beyond merely imagining the finish line? Why are there people who not only take action toward their dreams but also reach greatness and achieve success?
Why does the majority of us simply exist, never accomplishing our goals — and why is it that, at the very end, our final thought is often regret for never having tried?

It’s a November evening in 2021. I’m watching a new Netflix series — “My Name.” The father of the main character is brutally murdered. His daughter, Yoon Ji Woo, consumed by grief and vengeance, joins a criminal organization involved in drug trafficking. After undergoing intense training, she receives a new identity and begins her career as a police officer. All of this — to infiltrate the narcotics division, find her father’s killer, and find solace in killing him with her own hands.

"Did you think you are special?"

“Did you really think you were special?” These are the words the antagonist, Ganjgjae, throws at the main heroine during one of their confrontations. He wants to destroy and humiliate her. His actions are driven by hatred, jealousy, and envy, because it was he who was supposed to be “the special one.” It was he who was meant to stand where she stands now. He feels that Yoon Ji Woo took something from him when she defeated him in a competition.
Instead of reflecting on how he could become better in the future or what he could do to improve his skills, he allows himself to be consumed by low, primitive emotions—those typical of the “small and weak,” who react intensely to a wounded ego by trampling others who possess what they themselves desire. Yet when we ask what truly made the protagonist special, it certainly wasn’t her belief in her own uniqueness. Quite the opposite. And that, to my dismay, is exactly what today’s society is trying to convince us of. We keep saying, “Everyone is special.” But that is one of the greatest lies of the 21st century. Not everyone is special—and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The world needs ordinary people. It’s their everyday life that forms the foundation on which extraordinary individuals can even exist. If we were all special, then, in truth, none of us would be. The very word “special” would lose its meaning.

The main heroine stood out from the rest because she was exceptional at her work, consistently achieving results far above average. However, it’s important to realize that she wasn’t born that way. Step by step, through systematic, continuous, and disciplined effort, she trained day and night — to the point of exhaustion. She did more work than others, and therefore, she achieved better results than others.
Imagine you want to become a singer and you practice for one hour a day over six years. I doubt that would be enough to achieve real success, but you would certainly be better than those who never practice at all. Now imagine that instead of practicing for one hour a day, you devote eight hours a day to your singing practice — consistently, for six years straight. It’s hard to believe that after such dedication, you wouldn’t become an outstanding vocalist.
However, consistent effort is only one part of the formula for success — a formula that’s surprisingly simple yet incredibly difficult for most people to follow. We rarely encounter individuals who work in a disciplined, repetitive, and uninterrupted manner.
So, what else makes up the ingredients of success?

The next essential element on the road to success, inseparable from consistency, is motivation and purpose. They are what make you rise each morning and, day after day, keep working toward your goal. It is because of them that no obstacle can persuade you to abandon your mission.
When someone has strong motivation, a clear goal, and knows the answer to the question “Why do I want to achieve what I’ve set out to do?”, they will pursue it relentlessly. It will not feel difficult — it will feel natural. The main heroine was driven by revenge — revenge became the purpose of her life. From the perspective of mental health and higher values, this emotion is, of course, toxic and destructive. However, in her case, it was such a powerful driving force that she built her entire existence around it. It was a need that consumed every part of her life — so intense that almost nothing could stand in her way.

"Do you trust her?
I trust her desperation - she will be our dagger."

“Do you trust her?” “I trust her desperation — it will be our dagger.” The quote comes from a scene between the gang leader and his right-hand man. One of them did not trust Yoon Ji Woo, but the other recognized in her motivation an opportunity to achieve his own goals and secure his interests. This trait is worth noting — it’s what distinguishes a true leader.
A leader understands people and knows how to select the right ones for their team. If we know what someone wants to achieve and what motivates them — and if that motivation is strong enough — we can trust that they will reach their goal. And if our goals align, we can reach success together. (Of course, this refers to conscious collaboration, not manipulation — the latter never leads anywhere good.)
Thus, the recipe for achieving your goal already includes two key ingredients: consistency / perseverance and motivation with a clear purpose. The final element is finding the right way — and that’s where the next story from the series comes in.

"No matter how much you train, they will be stronger anyway, don't think about winning, but about killing [...] attack their vital points"

“No matter how much you train — they will always be stronger. Don’t think about winning, think about killing […]. Aim for their vital points.” These words were spoken to the heroine by her mentor during training. He revealed to her the way to achieve her goal and showed how to gain a competitive advantage. He assessed the situation realistically — something that is incredibly important both in life and in business. As much as we might insist that if Yoon Ji Woo trained long enough, she would eventually become stronger than the men, the truth is that from an anatomical and physiological perspective, that simply wasn’t possible. The protagonist was a slender, petite woman. No matter how hard she trained, she could not surpass the men in physical strength — they had greater mass, height, and body structure. Therefore, she had to find another way to outperform them.
Choi Mujin taught Yoon Ji Woo to target vital points. He told her not to try to win with brute strength — because that would never happen. Instead, she learned to rely on speed, intelligence, and knowledge. While the men depended on their physical power, she used her understanding of anatomy, her agility, which was easier for her to master, and most importantly, her motivation, which fueled her daily actions and gave her unshakable persistence.

The combination of these three elements created the perfect formula. And most importantly — her goal was not to become “the best” or “the perfect warrior,” but simply to achieve her objective. She succeeded in obtaining what she sought. It’s not my place to judge whether her goal was right or wrong — but it was her life’s mission. I wish the same for each of us — to achieve our goals and fulfill the dreams we have always carried in our hearts.

Yoon Ji Woo

"Now It's Just Beginning"

The main heroine trained for several years before she finally heard the words: “Now it truly begins.” Remember, if you want to achieve your dreams quickly — ideally by tomorrow — let me remind you that patience and discipline are just as essential as perseverance. I have never seen or heard of anyone who achieved success “overnight.” And even if it appears that someone did, we often forget (or simply don’t know) how many years of preparation, practice, and persistence came before that moment — the unseen effort beneath the surface of the water, hidden beneath the tip of the iceberg we now call success. We live in an age obsessed with speed — with quick wins, instant results, and rapid achievements. But the truth is simple: it’s impossible. True success requires time, consistency, and humility toward the process.

As I write this blog, I’ve just finished watching “My Name” on Netflix, and I can confidently say it’s one of the most intriguing productions of the year 2021. Diverse characters, strong personalities, a world portrayed in a raw yet believable way (still within the bounds of enjoyable storytelling), an unconventional script, unexpected plot twists, a captivating soundtrack, and brilliantly choreographed fight scenes — these are just a few of its many strengths. I highly recommend it and give it an 8 out of 10 on Filmweb. When you decide to watch it, pay attention to the elements I’ve discussed above — I’d love to hear your impressions and thoughts. Take a moment to reflect: What do you want to achieve? And what is your motivation? The method will reveal itself along the way — the first step is simply to start taking action!

Organize your life.

The first publication in the Untold product series, created to share methodology for organizing everyday life, cultivating systematic discipline, and developing proper habits. Drawing from the author's experience, knowledge, beliefs, and commonly available coaching tools, she aims to inspire you to take action and present you with a straightforward approach to achieving fulfillment and building self-esteem. Written in a simple way, it contains examples from everyday life, practical tips, exercises, and beautiful graphics. Available in e-book and audiobook.

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Artykuł Reasons to Wake Up pochodzi z serwisu Untold.