Self-esteem is something we are born with but often lose or distort somewhere along our life’s journey. Nathaniel Branden, in his book, highlights three essential elements of self-esteem: self-awareness, self-efficacy, and self-respect. The latter implies having a sense of self-dignity and self-worth.

In my personal life, I have faced many challenging moments, injustices, and unkindness. These experiences have influenced my perception of people and the world I inhabit. The most difficult situations have molded me into a strong individual. If the trials of the past didn’t break me, I have a strong feeling that the worst is behind me. If I can survive and overcome those challenges, not much else can intimidate or shatter me. They say that to build a person, you must first break them. The strongest individuals often endure the most trials. However, not many mention that this gained strength isn’t necessarily complex.

Through my experiences, I developed a habit of not trusting people because I believed they were untrustworthy and often failed to keep their promises. I started to think that love, which is supposed to know no boundaries, actually has limitations, and relying on others can lead to disappointment. I learned to separate emotions and feelings from the decisions I make. I mastered the art of not failing and not getting too involved. I gained control over my feelings, reactions, and my environment because I had been broken and stripped of security. In my behavior and attitude, I created a false sense of security and excluded situations from my life that could threaten that security, particularly close relationships. Despite appearing strong and confident, my self-worth was lacking and incomplete. Rebuilding my self-worth and stitching myself back together helped me accept my situation, confront the danger, and face it head-on. When we confront the truth about ourselves and our situation, we move closer to drawing conclusions, improving our circumstances, and establishing our boundaries.

When we build self-worth, we also gain self-confidence. This confidence extends to our minds, actions, opinions, the consequences of our actions, and the rules we set. When we live in alignment with our beliefs and values, we become unstoppable and fierce because we have an unshakable belief that what we think and do is right. This kind of confidence is inspiring and is present in every main character and true leader, drawing others to us.

I have never fully understood why, in movies, the main characters, upon meeting in key scenes, greet each other by saying their names aloud and looking into each other’s eyes with intensity. Sometimes, these encounters don’t lead to further conversation, yet the scenes convey more clarity and intensity than any dialogue could. In Polish culture, we don’t seem to have this trend, or perhaps I just haven’t observed it. Americans, on the other hand, tend to be more direct and open in their interactions, often addressing each other by name. In contrast, Europeans often use impersonal sentences or titles like “Mr.” or “Mrs.” The situation becomes even more intriguing in Asian countries, where individuals often use business titles and surnames even outside the workplace, and they have a wide array of titles depending on the age of the person they are interacting with. In Poland, using only surnames can be seen as offensive and using professional titles as mocking. Every country has its own customs, and by observing how people interact, we can discern what’s prioritized in each culture.

When watching Korean dramas, for instance, we often hear professional titles right from the start. In Korea, professional life and work are highly regarded, making them proud and honorable citizens. Addressing someone by their first name is considered very intimate and personal, indicating strong, enduring relationships between individuals. Americans, in contrast, tend to view using first names as common and don’t necessarily consider it rude. They often speak informally to strangers, as if they already know each other. Such situations are less frequent in Poland. For instance, when I’m coming back home and my mother uses my full name while looking directly at me, I know something is amiss. When my coworkers call me by my title, “Mrs. Director,” I understand that something serious has occurred. However, cultural differences don’t change the fact that our names do hold a hidden power, much like words, which carry their own energy and can change the world. This challenges the old adages that dismiss words as insignificant, such as “it’s just words” or “it’s just a name, it means nothing.” Do they really mean nothing?

Recently, I was listening to the audiobook “The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem.” I had read the book once before, but since I had started a series on my YouTube channel about this book, I decided to refresh my understanding. What surprised me was the difference in translation; I found myself interpreting the book quite differently in Polish compared to the original audiobook. It’s possible that I’ve changed over the course of my life, and my comprehension of the theme has evolved. Nevertheless, I experienced a kind of enlightenment after finishing the audiobook.

The book reveals that without self-esteem, we are incapable of fully living our lives. A low level of self-esteem prevents us from realizing our full potential, leaving us in a vegetative state rather than thriving. Nathaniel Branden, the author of the book, points out that the world we currently inhabit is demanding by nature, and we can only stand tall and face its challenges when our self-esteem is at a high level. This is because the elements of self-esteem make us adequate to the situations we encounter.