Due to various childhood experiences and my inherently orderly and methodical personality, complete with tables and checklists, I tend toward obsessive and perfectionistic behavior. It’s no surprise that sometimes, instead of focusing on the ‘why’ of a task, my energy gets channeled into its execution so I can check it off my list. It brings an indescribable sense of relief. While this trait is highly desirable for project implementation and management, it doesn’t always serve me well in direct client work. Every day, I have a need to create and build. I’m incredibly patient and can work on the same task for months as long as it leads to progress.

My logical personality combined with my knowledge in personal development and well-being enabled me to craft a meticulous daily, weekly, monthly, and multi-year schedule, all aligned with my goals. These goals are focused on health, balance, harmony, and success. Still, something seemed amiss. Subconsciously, I was perpetuating a few toxic behaviors that hindered my complete realization of my objectives. I couldn’t pinpoint what was going wrong. Try searching for something you can’t even name—it’s a genuine ordeal.

Why did this happen? Well, if we fail to recognize and understand the deeper, subconscious learned patterns and beliefs that drive and guide us, even the most well-thought-out plans and schedules can remain unrealized. Subconsciously, we sabotage them with increasingly creative excuses. This self-work demands a substantial effort, but there’s no need to reinvent the wheel. Let’s tap into the knowledge of others in this field and channel our energy into a deep understanding of ourselves and working through our inner issues.

Once again, they sang about this in the fairy tale ‘Brother Bear,’ just a few lines away from the quote mentioned earlier. And here I am, feeling somewhat blind and deaf.

Listening to the Tarzan soundtrack (1999), beautifully performed by Phil Collins, it’s hard not to agree with its message. Generation Z often struggles to understand their older peers—not because they’re less intelligent, but because they can’t truly grasp what we feel. They haven’t lived our experiences, and their childhood was entirely different.

True understanding arises when we share a common foundation — when our experiences overlap enough to draw similar conclusions. Only then can we communicate effectively. Otherwise, we may talk and listen, but we won’t hear. We’ll fail to recognize the logic behind someone else’s actions or perspective. And when that happens, we stand in opposition or indifference, rather than building something together.

As the American psychiatrist Stephen R. Covey wrote in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, without the principle “seek first to understand, then to be understood,” we will never achieve synergy — the force that multiplies the results of our actions.

Yet before we can reach understanding, we must take one step back. At the very beginning, we should acknowledge that even though we are different — we are not so different after all. To paraphrase the song’s lyrics: we are different, yet we’re the same.

The fact that Generation Z forms relationships online, while millennials built them offline, doesn’t mean they seek different things. Both generations long for human connection, for love, and for belonging.

Tarzan was a human child left alone in the jungle. His cry was heard by Kala, a gorilla who decided to take him in and raise him as her own. The fact that she was a different species, distinct in biology and form, didn’t make her incapable of maternal instinct. And though Tarzan didn’t have a human mother, he still received love, care, and warmth.

Every one of us wants to love and be loved. We all need connection and a sense of belonging. So while the differences between us may seem vast — are they truly, when deep down, we all desire the same things?

Pushing into the unknown runs counter to our survival instinct. Quite simply, you’re afraid of what waits around the riverbend. The mind prefers what’s familiar—it provides stability and safety, which are essential for a peaceful life. Routine isn’t just convenient; it makes things predictable. That’s why you subconsciously repeat even harmful childhood patterns—because they’re familiar, “safe,” almost automatic. And yet, when you look back, you don’t remember the days that flowed in the same rhythm; you remember the ones that broke the pattern. Most often, the very happy moments—or the very hard ones. Have you ever talked with an old classmate and reminisced, “Remember how we got up every day, went to school, studied, and ate our sandwiches at break?” No! We’re more likely to say, “Remember how we got lost on the class trip?” or “Remember that exam three quarters of the year failed?”

New experiences allow you to grow. The world is much bigger than your neighborhood. If you sit for years in the same job, in the same position, with the same people, shop at the same store, drive the same car, and watch the same shows every evening, your life will fade. You’ll start suffocating in a gilded cage you built for yourself, imprisoned by unchanging beliefs and prejudices.