Self-esteem is something we are born with but often lose or distort somewhere along our life’s journey. Nathaniel Branden, in his book, highlights three essential elements of self-esteem: self-awareness, self-efficacy, and self-respect. The latter implies having a sense of self-dignity and self-worth.

In my personal life, I have faced many challenging moments, injustices, and unkindness. These experiences have influenced my perception of people and the world I inhabit. The most difficult situations have molded me into a strong individual. If the trials of the past didn’t break me, I have a strong feeling that the worst is behind me. If I can survive and overcome those challenges, not much else can intimidate or shatter me. They say that to build a person, you must first break them. The strongest individuals often endure the most trials. However, not many mention that this gained strength isn’t necessarily complex.

Through my experiences, I developed a habit of not trusting people because I believed they were untrustworthy and often failed to keep their promises. I started to think that love, which is supposed to know no boundaries, actually has limitations, and relying on others can lead to disappointment. I learned to separate emotions and feelings from the decisions I make. I mastered the art of not failing and not getting too involved. I gained control over my feelings, reactions, and my environment because I had been broken and stripped of security. In my behavior and attitude, I created a false sense of security and excluded situations from my life that could threaten that security, particularly close relationships. Despite appearing strong and confident, my self-worth was lacking and incomplete. Rebuilding my self-worth and stitching myself back together helped me accept my situation, confront the danger, and face it head-on. When we confront the truth about ourselves and our situation, we move closer to drawing conclusions, improving our circumstances, and establishing our boundaries.

When we build self-worth, we also gain self-confidence. This confidence extends to our minds, actions, opinions, the consequences of our actions, and the rules we set. When we live in alignment with our beliefs and values, we become unstoppable and fierce because we have an unshakable belief that what we think and do is right. This kind of confidence is inspiring and is present in every main character and true leader, drawing others to us.