You will understand it over time

Aleksandra Strugalska — Wed, 16 Feb 2022 13:12:00 +0000

My birth year undeniably places me among the infamous millennials—Generation Y (born between 1980 and 1996). We were the children who grew up without the internet, without cell phones, with just a few TV channels, and with the same toys, clothes, and experiences—depending on what happened to be imported into post-communist Poland at the time. We’re also the generation that witnessed some of the greatest and fastest technological and social transformations—and the children raised on Disney movies.

Modern Disney productions are still very good, but in my opinion, they lack that “something special” the old ones had. On the other hand, it’s no surprise I feel that way. I look back with nostalgia on those films that shaped my childhood—when my parents were at work and the country was struggling with over 20% unemployment.

There’s also a third side to the story—the company’s adaptation to a changing world and a new audience. Generations shift, and with them, values, needs, and sensitivity. You can’t present the same kind of content that delighted Generation Y to Generation Z, often humorously referred to as “millennials on steroids.” They have entirely different models, experiences, upbringing, and needs, so the storytelling must evolve accordingly.

I understand that now, but if you had asked me a few years ago, I would have indignantly claimed that Disney had “gone downhill” and lost its magic—unable to create anything truly captivating or meaningful anymore.

Why can’t they understand the way we feel
They just don’t trust what they can’t explain
I know we’re different but deep inside us
We’re not that different at all

Listening to the Tarzan soundtrack (1999), beautifully performed by Phil Collins, it’s hard not to agree with its message. Generation Z often struggles to understand their older peers—not because they’re less intelligent, but because they can’t truly grasp what we feel. They haven’t lived our experiences, and their childhood was entirely different.

True understanding arises when we share a common foundation — when our experiences overlap enough to draw similar conclusions. Only then can we communicate effectively. Otherwise, we may talk and listen, but we won’t hear. We’ll fail to recognize the logic behind someone else’s actions or perspective. And when that happens, we stand in opposition or indifference, rather than building something together.

As the American psychiatrist Stephen R. Covey wrote in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, without the principle “seek first to understand, then to be understood,” we will never achieve synergy — the force that multiplies the results of our actions.

Yet before we can reach understanding, we must take one step back. At the very beginning, we should acknowledge that even though we are different — we are not so different after all. To paraphrase the song’s lyrics: we are different, yet we’re the same.

The fact that Generation Z forms relationships online, while millennials built them offline, doesn’t mean they seek different things. Both generations long for human connection, for love, and for belonging.

Tarzan was a human child left alone in the jungle. His cry was heard by Kala, a gorilla who decided to take him in and raise him as her own. The fact that she was a different species, distinct in biology and form, didn’t make her incapable of maternal instinct. And though Tarzan didn’t have a human mother, he still received love, care, and warmth.

Every one of us wants to love and be loved. We all need connection and a sense of belonging. So while the differences between us may seem vast — are they truly, when deep down, we all desire the same things?

During a webinar with Phil Berg (one of the mentors and trainers at BNI) in 2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic had just begun, we were all living in uncertainty — and many of us in panic, not knowing what tomorrow would bring or how to act. Phil said something I hope to remember for the rest of my life:

“During COVID, we shouldn’t change our goals — we should only change the way we achieve them. Adapt the plan, not the purpose.”

That statement struck me deeply. It’s obvious that our environment and circumstances are constantly changing — sometimes predictably, sometimes without warning. Yet if our goals are to buy a home, grow a business, or improve our health, why would we abandon those ambitions simply because conditions have shifted? We shouldn’t change our dreams, only the methods we use to pursue them. All we need is a new plan that fits the current situation and still leads us where we want to go.

So, if generations Y and Z share the same desires and aspirations — why can’t we understand each other? Why not let go of superficial differences, adapt our communication to a changing world, and work together toward our common goals — not as separate generations, but as human beings with shared dreams?

Don’t listen to them, cause what do they know
We need each other, to have to hold
They’ll see in time, I know

Just like in the song’s lyrics — the key message is that not everything can be understood immediately. Often, it takes time — sometimes a great deal of it — to grasp the essence of a problem, to truly understand another person’s desires, or to accept a situation as it is.

There’s a saying: “As many people, as many opinions.” And it’s absolutely true. How many times have you sought advice from friends, only to receive entirely different — even contradictory — suggestions? And in the end, you still followed your own intuition?

People will always talk, advise, and share their opinions — whether they’re right or not. In fact, very often, everyone can be right in their own way. Each person interprets life through their unique lens — shaped by personal experience, upbringing, beliefs, and abilities. Their opinions are reflections of who they are and how they see the world. So who are we to insist that only our perspective is the right one?

Some might say Tarzan should never have been raised by apes — and they’d be right. But would he have survived otherwise? Possibly. We’ll never know. Others might say that if Kala hadn’t taken Tarzan in, she wouldn’t have faced rejection from her group — probably true. But would she have been happier? Possibly. We’ll never know. Another might claim that if Kala hadn’t adopted him, she would have remained trapped in grief over her lost child — even if spared social rejection. Also possible. And perhaps, had she not taken him, another ape might have — finding happiness for herself and her family. Possibly. We’ll never know.

And that’s the beauty of life — in the diversity of perspectives, and in the truth that there is no single, absolute truth.

This is the true challenge of making decisions in life. Of course, every decision should be carefully thought through — using reason and logic, but also by listening to our emotions, intuition, and personal values. Yet I can say with full awareness that, for most of our lives, we won’t make “good” or “bad” decisions — only our own.

We can speculate endlessly, asking ourselves “what if,” but we’ll never know for certain. Others may understand our choices in time — just as I’ve come to understand much more with age and experience — but what truly matters is knowing where we are headed and what we want to achieve.

If others understand — that’s wonderful.
If they don’t — that’s okay too.
There will always be someone who resonates with our mission and path, but certainly not everyone. I’ve never met a person understood by all. We each have both supporters and critics — but most importantly, we have ourselves.

All we can do is trust that, in time, others will see that we made the right decision — the best one we could, given the knowledge and circumstances we had at that moment.

There’s no point regretting the choices we made. It’s like picking lottery numbers on Wednesday, discovering on Thursday that they weren’t the winning ones, and then spending a month mourning our “bad” choice. We couldn’t have known!

Until you gain the ability to see the future, focus on making the best decisions you can today — and accept that they might not turn out as planned. Instead of dwelling on mistakes, learn from them. Remember, absolute certainty and perfection don’t exist.

If you chase perfection, the sooner you realize you can never fully reach it — only approach it — the more joy you’ll find in everyday life.
And the sooner you embrace the lessons hidden in your failures, the more gratitude and peace you’ll feel — because without them, you wouldn’t have the wisdom that brought you to where you are now.

When destiny calls you, you must be strong
I may not be with you, but you gotta hold on
They’ll see in time, I know

So, what should we do in life? How should we live and make decisions? Above all, focus on what you truly want to achieve. Listen to your heart and soul, and — as the song says — follow your destiny. Follow that quiet, or sometimes deafening, voice that whispers to you every day in your thoughts.

Be steadfast and unyielding, filled with faith that you will succeed — because you know what you want and how deeply you want it. Live and experience life without the need to be understood by others. Understanding will come in time. You might no longer be here, but the world will understand one day.

That’s why it’s so important to draw your strength, motivation, and fulfillment from within — from your own faith, courage, and the values that live in your heart. That is my wish for you — with all my heart.

Organize your life.

The first publication in the Untold product series, created to share methodology for organizing everyday life, cultivating systematic discipline, and developing proper habits. Drawing from the author's experience, knowledge, beliefs, and commonly available coaching tools, she aims to inspire you to take action and present you with a straightforward approach to achieving fulfillment and building self-esteem. Written in a simple way, it contains examples from everyday life, practical tips, exercises, and beautiful graphics. Available in e-book and audiobook.

GET FREE SAMPLE

Artykuł You will understand it over time pochodzi z serwisu Untold.

Archiwa #tarzan - Untold

You will understand it over time

Organize your life.